|Penalty Box Customer|
|First Appearance||The Big Sickie|
The Penalty Box Customer is a recurring character. He is a middle-aged, overweight bald man who (according to Caitlin) still lives with his mother. Despite frequently appearing in the show, he has never been given a name.
The Penalty Box Customer is referred to as such because he is often seen shopping at the Penalty Box. There, he is frequently served by Jen. Often, the customer finds himself getting into calamities caused either by Jen abandoning him to help out one of her friends or by his own lack of athletic abilities.
Despite being a frequent customer at the Penalty Box, the customer is often shown to be somewhat of a klutz and to possess no athletic ability whatsoever. As a result, he often injures himself or someone else while trying out the merchandise, and has knocked over quite a few store displays. It is possible that his shopping at the Penalty Box is intended to impress women, as he once states that he is concerned about whether a certain piece of sporting equipment will make him "look good in front of the ladies."
Usually, when shopping at the Penalty Box, he is served by Jen. Although Jen usually serves him, Jen has indicated that she does not enjoy doing so, as she has complained about his foot odor and insulted him to his face. In addition to this, when serving him she regularly makes rude comments about him under her breath.
- Like Stuart Goldstein, the Penalty Box Customer seems to be a magnet for bad luck.
- It was revealed in "Lights Out" that he lives in a bungalow and has never even manually climbed stairs before, forcing him to depend entirely on escalators and elevators to change floors in the mall.
- He revealed in "Insert Name Here" that he is 39 years of age, and did not deny Caitlin's accusation in the same episode that he lives with his mother.
- He was pantsed by Stanley in "The New Jonesy."
- He is easily scared, as Coach Halder is able to make him pass out simply by saying "Boo!" while dressed in a jumpsuit and hockey mask. (However, it should be noted that his fear levels may have been heightened by the fact that Coach Halder had already threatened him with a chainsaw.)