Blast From The Past/Script

''[Caitlin is crying as she makes lemonade. Jude sits by idly playing a game, and Wyatt is nonchalantly sipping a coffee. Jen and Nikki walk up.]'' Jen: "Hey guys. What's up with Caitlin?" Jonesy: "She won't tell us. Says we have too much testosterone to get it." Wyatt: "Luckily, the human body's only sixty percent water. She'll have to stop crying sooner or later." Jen: [taking a seat next to Caitlin] "Caitlin, what's wrong?" Caitlin: "Oh, Jen. Spencer–dumped me!" [She resumes her crying jag.] Wyatt: [whispering] "Did we even meet Spencer?" Jonesy: "Who can remember? Caitlin's dated more guys than I've had jobs!" Travis Gibson: [walking up] "Jenny? Is that you?" Jen: [shocked] "Travis?" Travis Gibson: "Wow, I haven't seen you since grade two! You look amazing!" Jen: "Well, good to see you. Buh-bye now." [She turns her back on him.] Travis Gibson: "Yeah, I do have to go. But can I meet you here later so we can catch up?" Jonesy: "Oh, she's always here! This is our table!" Travis Gibson: "Great! Awesome to see you, Jenny." [He turns and walks away.] Nikki: "Whoa, Jenny. That guy was a hottie! And I never use that word." Jen: [snorting] "More like nottie. The day Travis Gibson transferred out of our school was the best day of my life." Jonesy: "What? Travis 'The Arm' Gibson is only the regional champion shotput thrower! Show a little respect!" Wyatt: "That was the Travis Gibson? Wow!" Jude: "Yeah, bra, he's a total legend!" Jen: "Heh, yeah, a legend who scarred me for life!" Wyatt: "Hang on. How did he scar you?" Jen: "Don't you remember? Look!" [She lifts her hair, revealing a small scar.] Jonesy: [laughing] "Oh yeah." Jude: "Nasty." Jen: "Travis 'The Arm' Gibson is the maniac who spent all of grade two throwing rocks at me." Caitlin: "Oh, Jen, that is so–" [Caitlin breaks into tears again.]

''The opening credits roll. The title of this episode is Blast From the Past''

[The girls have met up by the fountain.] Caitlin: "It's not just Spencer. All boys are jerks and bums!" Nikki: "But necessary to the food chain." Caitlin: "I get dumped, you get scarred, and you–well, you and Jonesy actually seem okay." Nikki: "That's 'cause my standards are low." Caitlin: "I'm just sick of them all!" Nikki: "Well, maybe a little time off from boys would do you good." Caitlin: "You're right! From this day forward I've got a new attitude and a new motto: no boys allowed!" Jude: [surfacing in the fountain in a scuba mask] "Morning, dudettes!" Caitlin: "RRRRRRRRR!!!" Jude: [frightened] "Um, Caitlin's growling at me." Nikki: "It's her new thing. Down, girl." Jen: "What are you doing in there?" Jude: "Ever since I lost my Zamboni job, I have way more time to play my GameGuy. Because I have more time. So I need more games. But I don't have money. 'Cause I don't have a job." Nikki: "Which explains the wetness how?" Jude: "It's a little extreme sport I like to call fountain fishing." [He holds up a sock filled with coins.] Jen: "Uh, Jude? Isn't it kind of wrong to steal coins from a fountain?" Jude: "I'm pretty sure that once money goes underwater, it belongs to everyone, bra." Ron: "I'll take that, mucous membrane!" [He snatches the sock.] Jude: "My GameGuy fund!" Ron: "Congratulations, maggot!" [giving Jude a ticket] "You just hit a whole new low." [He leaves.] Jude: "Bummer, that was my best sock." Jen: [getting up] "Gotta go. Later guys!" [She leaves.] Caitlin: [standing up] "Me too. I need to get one more thing to go with my new attitude and my new motto." Jude: "A new fountain fishing sock for your favorite skater bud?" Caitlin: "No! A new wardrobe."

''[Caitlin walks past a bunch of paintings carrying several bags. She still looks depressed. Caitlin comes up to the table, drops her bags, and takes a seat. Nikki closes the book she's reading.]'' Nikki: "Lemme guess. Shopping didn't help." Caitlin: "Everything cute reminded me of Spencer. And now my arms are sore. Why do shoes have to be so heavy?" Nikki: "That's 'cause shopping's for the old Caitlin. The new Caitlin needs something new to get fired up about!" Art Critic: [examining a painting] "How fascinating. You can see how he's used random juxtaposition to simulate the essence of life. And–" Caitlin: "Hmmph! Can't they keep it down over there? I'm trying to sulk!" Nikki: "Come on, don't just whine. You're the new Caitlin! Get passionate! Get angry!" Caitlin: "Okay. Those paintings are majorly ugly! And they totally clash!" Nikki: "Yeah, you're right." Caitlin: "Even I could paint better!" Nikki: "I don't know about that–" Caitlin: "I should do a painting! Ha! That'll show 'em!" Nikki: "Didn't see that coming." Travis Gibson: "Hey, aren't you Jenny's friends?" Caitlin: "The name's Jen! Get it right!" Travis Gibson: "Is she still into sports? 'Cause I wanted to let her know that I just qualified for the Olympic shotput tryouts." Nikki: "Olympics, huh? Tell me, what's your policy on chocolate?" Travis Gibson: "Love it! Especially when it's shaped like soccer balls, or skis, or–" Caitlin: [shocked] "Olympics? Chocolate skis? Stop copying Jen!" Nikki: "She just got a new personality. Still working out the kinks. Jen's over at the Penalty Box." Travis Gibson: "Really? That's awesome! Thanks!" [He leaves.] Caitlin: "Nikki! Jen said she wanted nothing to do with him!" Nikki: "Easy, tiger. He's totally into her! And they obviously have a ton in common. When's the last time that happened?" Caitlin: "Well, it was..." [after thinking it over] "...never!"

[Jen is shelving shoeboxes at work when her phone rings.] Jen: "Purgatory, Jen speaking." Nikki: "Yeah, that guy who scarred you for life? He's kind of on his way over." Jen: "Travis is coming here?!?" [Travis walks into the Penalty Box and looks around.] Jen: "Gotta go!" [She hangs up and hides behind a shelf.] Coach Halder: [spotting Travis] "Travis Gibson? Champion shotput thrower? In my store? What are the odds? Would you be a sport and sign my arm? Let me just get a pen. Something nice and permanent." [He zips off and comes back with a permanent marker.] Travis Gibson: [signing] "I heard Jenny works here. Is she around?" Coach Halder: "Masterson! Front and center!" [Jen glumly walks over to them.] Jen: [unenthusiastic] "Hey Travis." Travis Gibson: "Jenny! I just qualified for the Olympic tryouts! I thought maybe we could...celebrate over lunch?" Jen: "You mean like a date?" Travis Gibson: "Oh, nothing serious, just catch up." Jen: "Gee I'd, like to, but I've uh, yeah, got this really contagious disease." Travis Gibson: [disappointed] "Oh, okay." Coach Halder: "Masterson! Drop and give me twenty for not having a clue what you're missing!" ''[Jen drops and does as commanded. Coach Halder turns to Travis.]'' "My schedule just cleared up! Oh yeah! How's twelve-thirty in the food court sound? Hmm hmm?" Travis Gibson: [uncomfortable] "Hmm." Coach Halder: "Yeah."

''[Everyone but Jude is gathered around the table. Caitlin sets up an easel inside her workplace.]'' Penalty Box Customer: [ordering] "Oh oh, yeah, I would like to have–" Caitlin: "This is a no boy zone! Take it somewhere else!" [The customer leaves.] Jen: [whispering] "She might be taking this no boys thing a little too far." Nikki: "You kidding? After all this time, Caitlin's finally interesting. So how'd it go with Travis?" Jen: "He asked me out, but I said no." Jonesy: "What?" [He falls over in his chair.] "How could you? Call him up and say you changed your mind." Jen: "It's none of your business who I date, Jonesy." Jonesy: "It is if he's the coolest jock in the whole country. I just need to hang with him once and I'm golden!" Nikki: "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Wyatt: "Where are you working now?" Jonesy: "At the uh–yeah, you know, down at the–next to um–okay. I can't remember." Wyatt: "You can't remember where you work?" Jonesy: "Hasn't anything ever slipped your mind before?" Wyatt: "Not a job." Jonesy: "It was a quick interview. It'll come back to me. Just gotta give the ol' brain a little room to breathe." Nikki: "Give it any more room, and it'll die of loneliness." [Travis walks up.] Jonesy: "Travis, up high!" [They hi-five.] Travis Gibson: "Hey, Jenny. I was wondering if you reconsidered at all." Jen: "Sorry, I'm really busy, obviously with all this contagious disease." Jonesy: [coughing] "Liar!" Travis Gibson: "Okay. But I'm gonna ask you again tomorrow at two-thirty." Jen: "Yeah, I'm totally busy tomorrow at two-thirty. And every other time too." [The shoulders on Travis Gibson slump as he leaves.] Wyatt: "You do realize you and Travis are perfect for each other." Jen: "Ugh! Never in a million years will I date Travis Gibson!"

Stuart Goldstein: "Excuse me, miss?" ''[Caitlin has just finished a painting. It is a fairly poorly drawn rendering of a guy.]'' Caitlin: "Now, who does that remind me of?" [The guy whom she's trying to draw steps in front of it.] "Spencer?!? Ooh, oh, uh, hi!" Spencer: "Whoa. Awkward." [He and his date walk away.] Caitlin: "Ugh!" [She puts her foot through the middle of the painting.] Nikki: [arriving with two cups of coffee] "I brought caffeine to fuel the creative process! How's it going?" Caitlin: [depressed] "What was I thinking? I'm no artist!" Nikki: "Oh come on, it can't be that bad." [Caitlin holds up her painting.] "Ew." Caitlin: [sighing] "I'm gonna go clean up." [She dumps the painting in the garbage.] Nikki: "Oh come on, Caitlin, it's no worse than those art show paintings!" [Nikki looks at the art show and then at Caitlin's painting and gets an idea.]

''[Coach Halder is standing around. Jen walks into work.]'' Jen: "Sorry I'm late." [She heads for the penalty box.] Coach Halder: "Hey, cut yourself some slack, Masterson. You're not that late." [Jen shuts the box door.] Jen: "Okay, what's going on?" Coach Halder: "Can you get Travis to do an autograph session? It'd be great for business." ''[Coach Halder grins widely. Jen doesn't respond.]'' Coach Halder: "I'll let you be late for a month." [Jen does not reply.] Coach Halder: "If you don't get him, you're on inventory! 'Till the year three thousand." Jen: [growling] "Stupid Travis. Rrr!"

[Travis is chucking coins into the fountain.] Travis Gibson: "She loves me...she loves me not. She loves me...she loves me not." Jen: [behind him] "Travis?" Travis Gibson: "Jenny." Jen: "Yeah. Hey, listen. Coach wants to know if you'll come to the store and sign some shotputs." Travis Gibson: "Absolutely. On one condition. That you'll have dinner with me." Jen: "Ugh! I will never go out with you after what you did to me in grade two!" Travis Gibson: "What?" Jen: "Oh, remember this, Mr. Olympic Arm?" [She points at her scar.] Travis Gibson: "Oh, Jenny. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I'll do the autograph session and, I promise, I'll never ask about it again." Jen: "Well–good!" ''[She stomps away. Travis tosses one last coin in and walks away as well. Jude surfaces.]'' Jude: [with a sock of coins] "Sweet!"

[Jude walks up to a game store.] Jude: "Game on!" ''[He walks in and stops. Inside are two people playing a role-playing game and two old men playing chess.]'' Old Man: "Hurry up! I ain't gonna live forever!" Jude: [walking up to them] "'Scuse me, elderly dudes, where do you keep your GameGuy games?" Old Man: "Hello? Speak up, sonny!" Jude: [loudly] "I'm looking for the latest GameGuy games!" Old Man: "I only carry games made before 1977. After that, things went downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids." Jude: "1977, that's like..." [doing some calculations] "...a hundred years ago! Dude! You gotta get some GameGuy games!" Old Man: "Never! Now take that crazy wheelboard doohickey of yours and skedaddle! Hippie!" Jude: "Dude, you can't just ignore stuff 'cause it's new." [Pomp and Circumstance begins to play.] "Did Neil Armstrong say 'I don't want to discover the moon, it's too new'? No. He went ahead and did it anyway. For you. And them." [He points at the gamers.] "And most of all, for dudes like me. Tasty bros with awesome hand-eye coordination, born to save virtual Earth from digital aliens, in a dimension way beyond weird dice and plastic pieces you always lose in the couch! Gaming isn't just the future, dude! It's the everything!" Old Man: [angry] "I challenge you to beat me at any game in my store. Win, and I'll order whatever you want. Lose, and you never step foot in here again." Jude: "You're on, grandbro!"

[Caitlin walks through the art show, shoulders slumped.] Caitlin: "Excuse me, please. Failed artist coming through." ''[She sees several people gathered around a painting and gasps. The painting is the one she did.]'' "That's my painting! How did it get here?" Nikki: "Congrats! You're the toast of the town." Caitlin: "Wow!" Nikki: "Yeah. Just be careful you don't–" Caitlin: "Ssh. I need to greet my public." [She walks forward.] "That's right, I'm the genius artist!" Nikki: "...let it go to your head. Oh, not good."

[Travis Gibson is autographing shotputs while Jen looks on angrily.] Coach Halder: "Get your autographed Travis Gibson shotput right here! Thrown to you by the man himself! Won't that be fun?" [Travis throws a signed shotput at a customer.] Jen: [bitter] "Oh, Olympics my butt! Throwing things isn't a real sport!" Travis Gibson: "Hey Jenny, this one's for you!" ''[He flings a shotput to her. Jen catches it.]'' Jen: "Stop throwing rocks at me!" ''[She angrily heaves the shotput back, and it slams into Travis. The crowd gasps as Travis goes down. Jen hustles over.]'' "Travis! Are you okay?!?" Travis Gibson: [clutching his arm] "I've always been better at throwing than catching. I think my Olympic dreams might be–over." Jen: "Oh no, what have I done?" Coach Halder: "Travis Gibson, injured in my store? Olympic dreams dashed? Crashed? Snuffed out? Oh my stars!" [He faints.] Jen: "No!" [Coach Halder falls onto Travis.]

[Jen is at the hospital, waiting.] PA System: "Paging Dr. Venture. Paging Dr. Venture." ''[A hospital worker wheels out a dead body on a stretcher, and Jen gasps. Travis soon follows the stretcher, though, and Jen's worst fears are put to rest, as his arm is only in a sling.]'' Travis Gibson: "Hey Jenny. Thanks for waiting." Jen: "How can you thank me? I ruined your life! Oh, Travis, I'm so sorry!" Travis: "Well, things could be worse." [looking at his arm] "Well, maybe not. Anyway, see ya." Jen: "Wait!" [exhaling deeply] "Maybe we could have that dinner after all." Travis Gibson: "Cool! C'mon!" Jen: "Ugh. The things I do for guilt."

[Jonesy walks through the mall.] Jonesy: [greeting two girls] "Ladies. Hello there. Yeah, I'll get you that ten bucks tomorrow." [looking at a mall map] "Just gotta figure out where I work so I can make that ten bucks. C'mon, brain, remember! Button Barn? No. Thong Town? I wish. Slacker Slacks, Carpet Wars, Things That Start With O...ah, forget it. Wait! I already did. Ha ha." [seeing something] "Hello, what's this?" ''[Jonesy walks into the game store. Jude and the owner are playing a mystery game.]'' Jude: [crossing his fingers] "Please don't get it right, please don't get it right..." Old Man: "Eh, Sergeant Ketchup, in the doghouse, with a kumquat!" [The other gamers applaud.] Jude: "Not again! How'd you do that?" Jonesy: "What's going on?" Jude: "Grandbro here challenged me to beat him at any game in the store." Jonesy: "How's it going so far?" Old Man: "The score is ten to zip!" [chuckling] "You ready to quit?" Jude: "Uuuuuhhhhh..." Jonesy: "Don't give up! I've got five to one odds on Jude winning a game before it's over, any takers?" [Everyone but Jude and Jonesy holds out five dollars.] Jonesy: "Come to papa. You can take him, Jude!" Old Man: "Ready to...go fish?" Jude: "Aw, man! Cards?"

[Caitlin is painting when Nikki walks up to her.] Nikki: "Hey Caitlin." Caitlin: "Ssh. Artist at work." [She turns around a poorly rendered painting.] "And the final touch–YAH!" [Caitlin sends her foot flying through the canvas.] Nikki: "Oh yeah. Much better." Caitlin: "I know, right? Art is my destiny." [A teenaged boy walks up.] "Back off, demon! Go suck on someone else's dreams!" [The boy runs off.] "Real artists are never appreciated in their lifetime!" [She slams the Big Squeeze shut.] Nikki: "Oh yeah. She's nuts all right." [Nikki takes out her cell phone and makes a call.] Jen: "Hello?" Nikki: "I've created a monster! Caitlin just went from interesting to psychotic in ten seconds flat." Jen: "Well, I'd come and help but, I'm on my way to dinner. With Travis." Nikki: [interested] "Oh really?" Jen: "Yeah!" [whispering] "It's the least I can do since I broke his arm!" Nikki: "What?!?"

[Jude and the old man are playing a game on a colorful mat.] Old Man: "Say the old games are the best!" Jude: "Never!" Old Man: "Say it!" Jonesy: [to Wyatt, who has joined him] "Fifteen wins, each more humiliating than the last. The old guy's a genius!" [pointing to himself] "And this guy's about to go totally bankrupt!" Wyatt: "Know what could fix that? Little something I like to call a job." Jonesy: "Hey, if I knew where to go, I would!" Wyatt: "I know. Close your eyes, and visualize the store." [Jonesy shuts his eyes.] "Now, what do you see?" Jonesy: "Dorky customers...board games..." Wyatt: "Not this store! Man, did you get hit on the head or something?" Jonesy: "If I did, I don't remember!" Jude: [crushed] "Dude, you can break my spine, but you'll never break my spirit! And actually, I'd kinda prefer it if you didn't break my spine."

''[Travis and Jen are on their date at Cafe Coeur Brisé. Travis is trying to eat with his left hand.]'' Travis Gibson: [hitting his nose instead of his mouth] "Delicious." Jen: "I feel horrible about your arm." Travis Gibson: "Well I feel horrible for giving you that scar." Jen: "Yeah, I still don't get that. Why were you throwing rocks at me?" Travis Gibson: "Because I was crushing on you." [Jen chokes.] Jen: "What?!?" Travis Gibson: "I didn't know how else to get your attention. Made you notice me." Jen: "You've been into me all this time?" [She blushes.] Travis Gibson: "You know what? I'm so happy right now, I have to throw something." ''[Travis picks up a piece of bread in his left hand, aims, and concentrates. He then sends the bread flying. It speeds through the air and smacks a bald man on the back of his head, knocking his glasses off.]'' Penalty Box Customer: "Ow! Owie ow!" Jen: [amazed] "Hey! Your aim might be shaky, but your left arm is just as strong as your right! It may even be Olympic-worthy!" Travis Gibson: "You really think so?" Jen: "Oh, I know so! This is how I'll make it up to you! I'll help you train your left arm for the Olympic tryouts!"

[The game store owner is standing over Jude's defeated body and laughing.] Old Man: "I just beat you at every game in the store!" Jude: "Every game except one." [He pulls out his GameGuy and stands up.] "Technically, it is a game in your store. Ready to press your luck, Grandbro?" Old Man: "But–but I–ah, dangnabbit! Fine! I ain't chicken!" [He turns the game on and stands there, shocked.] "The lights! The sounds! My ticker!" ''[The owner of the store has a heart attack and falls over. He presses a button on a necklace he's wearing, and soon two paramedics rush in to cart him away.]'' Old Man: "Take over–till I get–back!" [He hurls the store keys to Jude.] Jude: "Sweet!" Jonesy: "Yes! Pay up, chumps!" [Suddenly, all three friends get text messages.] Wyatt: "Nikki needs us for an intervention?" Jonesy: "You represent. I gotta find my job!" Jude: "And I gotta order some new games!"

[Jen is training Travis at the school soccer field.] Jen: [as Travis does push-ups] "Pump it! Good!" [blowing her whistle] "Now get on your feet and show me how much you want it!" [Travis gets up and begins throwing oranges at a target perfectly.] "Who's number one?" Travis Gibson: "I am!" Jen: "I can't hear you! Who's number one?" Travis Gibson: [suavely] "You are." Jen: [blushing] "Oh, Travis." [They kiss.]

[Jonesy is walking through the mall.] Jonesy: "Lock and load, brain! Let's do this!" [to an employee of Not Quite Naked] "I work here, right?" [The saleslady shakes her head.] "May I work here?" ''[She shakes her head. Jonesy's next visit is to a perfume department.]'' Jonesy: [sneezing] "Didn't you hire me?" [The woman at the counter shakes her head.] "Probably for the best." [He sneezes.] [Jonesy tries Spin This.] Jonesy: "I knew I worked here! Brain one, amnesia zero! I totally work here!" [Serena begins escorting him out.] "Oh, come on! Why, brain? Why?"

[Travis rushes into the Penalty Box.] Travis Gibson: "I got in! I aced the tryouts!" Coach Halder: [hi-fiving him] "Yes! Attaboy!" [Travis runs to Jen.] Jen: [hugging him] "You got in? Travis, that's awesome!" Travis Gibson: "I know! But–now I have to train even harder at a track out of town." Jen: "Oh no! How far away will you be?" Travis Gibson: "A few time zones to the left. But we can use email, phone, texts, and I'll fly in every chance I get." Jen: "I–guess that could work." Travis Gibson: "I never want this romance to end, Jenny. You're the one for me." Jen: "Oh, Travis. You're the one for me." ''[Jen and Travis draw close and kiss. Suddenly, they stop.]'' Jen: "Um, no one called for a group hug." Coach Halder: [hugging them] "Ssh. You're ruining the moment."

[Wyatt walks up to the Big Squeeze, which houses a bunch of discarded paintings and one tired artist.] Wyatt: "Hey. Where's Jen?" Nikki: "Apparently she can't tear herself away from Travis. And the guys?" Wyatt: "You don't even want to know." Caitlin: [waking up] "Guy-free zone, Wyatt. Leave a message with the hand." Nikki: "Oh, come on. Wyatt hardly counts." Wyatt: "Hey!" Nikki: "We're here to help you, Caitlin. You've gotta stop painting and get back to being you again." Caitlin: "But my public needs me." Wyatt: "Okay, except–the art show's over." [Caitlin whimpers.] Nikki: "Come on, this is a good thing. You proved you can live without boys. Now you can start liking them again." Caitlin: "Really? But–what about my pride?" Wyatt: "Yeah...about that..." [Nikki holds a mirror up to Caitlin's face, and Caitlin screams.] Nikki: "Yeah. Figured that would do it." Caitlin: "Get me to the spa! It's an emergency!"

''[The gang are in their seats while Caitlin makes lemonade. By her is a man in a suit.]'' Nikki: "Nice to have the real Caitlin back." Caitlin: "I had two guys ask me out on my way to the mall this morning!" Nikki: "That's great, huh Jen?" [Jen stares into space.] "Hello, Earth to Jen?" Jen: "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about my boyfriend Travis! EEE! He's already called eight times today! Oh, he's just so perfect!" Nikki: "Well, I hate to take credit, but–" Jen: "Thanks for helping me see what was so obvious, I'm officially through with grudges." Jude: "Cool. Oh, and if anyone needs games, I'm kinda running the game store now." Caitlin: "That's great!" Jen: "Wow, Jude!" Nikki: "Congrats!" Jonesy: [bitter] "Well, I'm glad everyone else's life is so amazing! I'm still jobless, thanks to my stupid brain!" Caitlin: [to the man] "Here's your drink." Jonesy: "Hey! Hey! I work for you! Yes!" Diamond Store Manager: "You did, until you got fired. Shame you missed it." Wyatt: "Isn't he the manager of Immortal Diamonds? That's like the highest paying Joe job in the mall." Nikki: "Guess your brain knew you weren't good enough to work there." Wyatt: "But at least it remembered!" Jonesy: "WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"