Fashion Victims

Fashion Victims is the 74th episode of the series and the 20th episode of the third season. It aired on March 9, 2008, in Canada on Teletoon, and remains unaired in the United States. Jonesy encounters a marketer who wants to know the latest teen trends. Jonesy, being Jonesy, decides to mess with the marketer, just to see how large the impact will be.

Plot
Jonesy and Jude are sitting by the Big Squeeze, reading fortune cookies, when one pops up telling them to beware of blunt objects traveling fast. They shrug and duck, and do so just in time, as a shoe hits the table. As it turns out, the shoe was thrown by Jen, who wanted Jonesy to help her with a box of donated clothes from their family. Jonesy and Jen then look through the box, and Jonesy finds some biker duds which once belonged to his father. Jonesy thinks that the clothes are pretty cool, so he decides to wear them and walks away from the table dressed like a biker.

Later, Jonesy shows up at the Khaki Barn still dressed like a biker. There, Nikki tries to donate the Khaki Barn's newest shipment of merchandise to the giveaway, but the Clones refuse to let it happen. However, they do notice Jonesy's new clothes, and are attracted to them–until Jonesy brings up that they are literally vintage and belonged to his dad. This scares the Clones, as they realize that the clothes are old, and they fall into a panic.

Jonesy then heads out and walks through the mall, where he runs into a strange man. This man likes Jonesy's look and assumes that he knows what's going on in the streets–so much so that he offers Jonesy a job as a "cool hunter," who will look for trends and report back to him about what's hot and what's not. Jonesy accepts at the offer of cash, but when he tells his friends about his new job they aren't quite as enthusiastic as he is, as Nikki believes that he's selling out his entire generation to marketers for money and Jude is worried about spies being everywhere.

Jonesy isn't worried, though, and he starts wandering the mall, looking for possible cool people. While he does this, Caitlin and Jude sift through the donated clothes under Jen's watch. Caitlin thinks that most of the clothes are horrible, but when Jude sees them, he decides to wear some of them as disguises so that "the spies" won't know who he is.

As Jonesy looks, though, he realizes that there are no new trends in the mall, and he heads back to the Big Squeeze. There, Nikki suggests that he's found nothing; while Jonesy denies this, after Nikki leaves he admits that there's nothing new under the sun. Jude then cracks open another fortune cookie, which advises Jonesy to look at what's in front of him. When Jonesy does, he realizes that Jude's costume is insane, and decides to just go ahead and submit it as an idea of what's hot.

Laird, surprisingly enough, decides to go with it. Jonesy then decides that the secret is in the donation boxes, and asks Jen permission to borrow donated clothes for photo shoots, where his friends will pose while wearing the clothes. As he and his models browse the boxes, Nikki states that Jonesy is destroying individuality–an accusation that Jonesy counters by pointing out that Nikki does the exact same thing at her job. Nikki is offended by this insinuation, mostly because it's true, and challenges her boyfriend to a bet: Jonesy won't last a week at his job.

Soon, though, Jonesy's first suggestion to Laird has become the next big thing. Jonesy continues to keep the train rolling, and soon his fashions are a huge hit, including t-shirts with his face and t-shirts with Nikki's face. The last of these annoys Nikki immensely, as not only is she part of an annoying trend, but people (such as the Pre-teen Girls) are following her around. Jen isn't happy either, as nobody is donating anything anymore due to Jonesy bringing vintage back. Soon, though, the conversation among the girls turns to underwear as Nikki's is riding high, and the trio head out to get boy-cut undies. Jonesy is paying attention, however, and he follows them in the hope of finding a new bandwagon to jump on.

After taking pictures of the underwear, he meets Wyatt at Grind Me, where a batch of coffee soap has come in. As soon as Wyatt stops looking at the soap, Jonesy surreptitiously takes pictures. When he phones in the new trends to Laird, however, Laird demands more, so Jonesy throws in lemon juice and fortune cookies as new trends in the mall.

The next day, all of these trends have taken hold and all of Jonesy's friends are mad at him. Caitlin is overworked by customers, Wyatt is annoyed that his soap is gone, Nikki is mad about the disappearance of comfortable underwear, and Jude is ticked that he can no longer get fortune cookies form CiCi Sombrero's. Jonesy promises to fix it, however, and soon he manages to get everyone back to normal and all the clothes donated back to Jen. The reason for this is that he called up Laird and told him that vintage was out–which led to him getting fired, because Laird wanted trends with longevity. Nikki then calls herself the winner of the bet, and chases after Jonesy in order to get her promised footrub.

Quotes
Jonesy: What's it say? Jude: Everything tastes better with MSG. Jonesy: Right again! Unbelievable! Nikki: How long are you going to keep this up for? Jonesy: Long as it takes for the cookie to get it wrong. Nikki: Hopeless. Simply hopeless. (Jude opens a new cookie.) Jonesy: What's it say? Jude: Avoid blunt objects traveling at a high rate of speed. (Jude and Jonesy look at each other, shrug, and duck.) Nikki: Oh, come on! (A shoe sails onto the table.) Jonesy: Yes! (Nikki laughs.) Jude: (opening a cookie) Your girlfriend is laughing at you, not with you. Jonesy: Finally, a fortune that's wrong. My work here is done. (He walks off.) Nikki: (calling after him) Actually, that fortune was bang on! Huh. Maybe there's something to these after all. Kirsten: Oh no you don't! Our new super-stretchy tanks aren't going anywhere! Kristen: (hysterical) SAVE THE SUPER-STRETCHY TANKS! Jonesy: Lots of cars. The odd cyclist. Nikki: Oh, is that supposed to mean you won't? Nikki: There are probably hundreds of fake marketers posing as teens right now. Jonesy: Time to hit the streets! ...in the mall. Nikki: You're going to look for new trends in the mall? Everyone looks exactly the same! Jude: Which means there's no way to spot the spies, dude! Nikki: Jude, you look like a pirate. In drag. Jude: It will throw off the spies, bra! Nikki: If you say so. Jonesy: (noticing Jude's outfit) What are you wearing? Jude: A disguise. Jonesy: Wait a sec! If people wore this stuff before, why can't they wear it after? Caitlin: Because it's really ugly? Jude: Toes are awesome. You couldn't stand without them. Jude: I have coffee for inspiration. And some figs. Jonesy: Jude, I meant the cookies. Jude: Actually, cookies don't– (realizing) Oh! Right. (He eats a fortune cookie and reads the fortune.) Hank says "Relax." Good advice. Been a little on edge since I found out about the spies. Nikki: Who's Hank? Jude: No idea, bra. Jude: I know the feeling!
 * Jude: Another fortune from the fortune cookie gods.
 * Teenage Girl: (to Jonesy as she walks by him) Hey, stud man!
 * Nikki: I got a huge donation for you. It's all boxed and ready to go.
 * Mysterious Man: You ride a motorcycle. So you must know what's happening on the street.
 * Jonesy: This gig's so easy, a monkey couldn't screw it up!
 * Jude: (worried) People are spying on us?
 * Jude: This hat will make a good disguise. (He rummages.) Ah ha! (Jude takes some of the clothes.)
 * Jude: The answer you seek can be found right in front of you.
 * Caitlin: Do I have to wear these socks for the shoot? They have individual toes!
 * Jonesy: Jude, some inspiration?
 * Nikki: Ugh. I hate this girly gitch.
 * Jude: The words "Kiku-llama-llama-wuwu" will bring bad luck to all who utter them aloud.
 * The Clones: We're the cutest Khaki team that anyone has ever seen! EEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Trivia
Reason for firing: None of the trends Jonesy suggested to his employer had staying power, as they were always overshadowed by something better.
 * Jonesy's job: Finding teen trends for an advertiser
 * The episode was banned from airing in the United States due to Jonesy's behavior for his job, which is considered sexual harassment and a violation of privacy.

Errors

 * When Jen mentioned to the gang that she wore suspenders in kindergarten, she mispronounces the word "suspenders" as "dispensers."

Episode connections

 * When Wyatt mentions Jude letting out a secret that Coach Halder was into figure skating, this was further expanded upon in the episode "Insert Name Here."
 * Jonesy would later work at CiCi Sombrero's in the episode "Snow Job."

Cultural references

 * Jonesy's job is a reference to "retro" fads, which are trends that are out of style.
 * Caitlin makes a reference to fashion designer Marc Jacobs when talking about how strong Jonesy was in starting trends.